Sometimes I have to remind myself that it’s okay to be triggered. Also the fact that I have these moments doesn’t make me weak or dramatic. Maybe I’ll never get over it and that’s okay. Somethings are just too fucked up to get over and for a good reason.
I reflected a lot about how iconic figures inspire me, in light of Nelson Mandela’s. I realized that he (in comparison to other leaders I look up to) did not have a tragic death. Even though much progress needs to be made, he was able to experience some of the major breakthroughs he helped happen. It’s a comforting thought.
However, this comforting thought shows how oppressive power structures are built and maintained by violence. Those who stand against these structures are meet with violent opposition. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be a reoccurring tale of people giving up their lives for a cause. Even though Mandela died a peaceful death, let’s not forget the violent struggles he endured. These struggles played a important role in the inspiring life he lived.
It’s important to recognize parts of horrible parts of humanity. Oftentimes, history is stripped of reality in order to present it in a airbrushed manner. There are scars, wrinkles, and blood and hiding it is a dangerous delusion. We need to recognize reality because we can’t progress if we don’t acknowledge the problem.
25 Things To Do Before You Turn 25
1. Make peace with your parents. Whether you finally recognize that they actually have your best interests in mind or you forgive them for being flawed human beings, you can’t happily enter adulthood with that familial brand of resentment.
2. Kiss someone you think is out of your league; kiss models and med students and entrepreneurs with part-time lives in Dubai and don’t worry about if they’re going to call you afterward.
3. Minimize your passivity.
4. Work a service job to gain some understanding of how tipping works, how to keep your cool around assholes, how a few kind words can change someone’s day.
5. Recognize freedom as a 5:30 a.m. trip to the diner with a bunch of strangers you’ve just met.
6. Try not to beat yourself up over having obtained a ‘useless’ Bachelor’s Degree. Debt is hell, and things didn’t pan out quite like you expected, but you did get to go to college, and having a degree isn’t the worst thing in the world to have. We will figure this mess out, I think, probably; the point is you’re not worth less just because there hasn’t been an immediate pay off for going to school. Be patient, work with what you have, and remember that a lot of us are in this together.
7. If you’re employed in any capacity, open a savings account. You never know when you might be unemployed or in desperate need of getting away for a few days. Even $10 a week is $520 more a year than you would’ve had otherwise.
8. Make a habit of going outside, enjoying the light, relearning your friends, forgetting the internet.
9. Go on a 4-day, brunch-fueled bender.
10. Start a relationship with your crush by telling them that you want them. Directly. Like, look them in the face and say it to them. Say, I want you. I want to be with you.
11. Learn to say ‘no’ — to yourself. Don’t keep wearing high heels if you hate them; don’t keep smoking if you’re disgusted by the way you smell the morning after; stop wasting entire days on your couch if you’re going to complain about missing the sun.
12. Take time to revisit the places that made you who you are: the apartment you grew up in, your middle school, your hometown. These places may or may not be here forever; you definitely won’t be.
13. Find a hobby that makes being alone feel lovely and empowering and like something to look forward to.
14. Think you know yourself until you meet someone better than you.
15. Forget who you are, what your priorities are, and how a person should be.
16. Identify your fears and instead of letting them dictate your every move, find and talk to people who have overcome them. Don’t settle for experiencing .000002% of what the world has to offer because you’re afraid of getting on a plane.
17. Make a habit of cleaning up and letting go. Just because it fit at one point doesn’t mean you need to keep it forever — whether ‘it’ is your favorite pair of pants or your ex.
18. Stop hating yourself.
19. Go out and watch that movie, read that book, listen to that band you already lied about watching, reading, listening to.
20. Take advantage of health insurance while you have it.
21. Make a habit of telling people how you feel, whether it means writing a gushing fan-girl email to someone whose work you love or telling your boss why you deserve a raise.
22. Date someone who says, “I love you” first.
23. Leave the country under the premise of “finding yourself.” This will be unsuccessful. Places do not change people. Instead, do a lot of solo drinking, read a lot of books, have sex in dirty hostels, and come home when you start to miss it.
24. Suck it up and buy a Macbook Pro.
25. Quit that job that’s making you miserable, end the relationship that makes you act like a lunatic, lose the friend whose sole purpose in life is making you feel like you’re perpetually on the verge of vomiting. You’re young, you’re resilient, there are other jobs and relationships and friends if you’re patient and open.
January Nelson, 06/25/12 (via buzzingjuslikeneon)
I always love reading this
I’ve recently been thinking about buying Macbook…ok, that’s a sign!
Okay shit I’ve got three months and probably have achieved 30% of this hahahahaha take your time honey(via fluffyasparagus)
Shit. April is around the corner.
I’m sick of POC making excuses for MOC. If your anti-racism frame work excludes WOC, you’re not fighting racism. You’re just trying to swap places in the power structure.